Doors and Sardines

ObservaTorys by Tory Shulman
www.toryshulman.com

“Think of the first night as the dress rehearsal. If we can just get through the play once tonight - for doors and sardines.
That’s what it’s all about, doors and sardines. Getting on, getting off. Getting the sardines on, getting the sardines off.
That’s farce. That’s theatre. That’s life.”
--Noises Off

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  1. The Cat’s Vanity

    The Cat’s Vanity

     
     
  2. inflation conflation

    inflation conflation

     
     
  3. TOP TEN REVEALED! #SYTYCD

    Opening Number

    Style: Contemporary

    Choreographer: Stacey Tookey

    Music : “Last Moment” by Christophe Filippi

    Honestly-I felt like this was super “meh” and I definitely did NOT understand the moment when Ricky smeared what looked like shit on his shirt at the end.

    Emilio and Bridget

    Style: Jazz

    Choreographer: Ray Leeper

    Song: “Long Road to Hell” by Avicii

    Ray Leeper always kinda scares me for some reason. He looks like that evil clown that frightens you in your dreams. No offense. Anyway-his pieces are always just “jazz hands” to me. Emilio was tight and they were nice and synchronized but nothing special. Honestly, how did Bridget get in those pants?

    Rudy and Tanisha

    Style: Contemporary

    Choreographer: Mandy Moore

    Song: “Seduces Me” by Celine Dion

    Man, this was so breezy and floaty. Tanisha looked like she weighed one pound. Rudy the spaz did an amazing job at partnering her especially during the lifts. But I died when he did that ONE-HANDED lift. I was only mad since her dress sort of covered this amazing feat but it was still so beautiful.

    Serge Solo: Latin Patrick Swayze. Cute not great.

    Jacque and Zack

    Style: Paso Doble

    Choreographer: Jean-Marc Genereaux

    Song: “Dragula” by Rob Zombie

    I continually think that Zack is pretty amazing for a tap dancer. I thought Jacque looked heavy in his arms and I’m not sure if Zack wasn’t strong enough or if she wasn’t graceful enough. I did like Jacque’s tights and looked them up immediately on Etsy. So there is that.

    Carly Solo:Cute but empty…like an adorable bunny. Felt more like a gymnastics routine.

    Emily and Teddy

    Style: Broadway

    Choreographer: Warren Carlyle

    Song: “From This Moment On” Kiss Me Kate soundtrack

    Dear LORD this was a first class mess. Emily has always reminded me of a tall bird and has lacked the grace the other girls own so easily. She looked like she was all legs and not very sure of herself or her footing, even slipping once. Teddy was fine but dipped at times and they were never EVER in synchronization. Especially the end which was a train wreck. The best part of the dance was Emily’s dress. I’m back on Etsy.

    Casey Solo:  WOW. This is how you fight for your life with dance. Explosive with great extension. His constant smile is starting to creep me out but he put his whole heart into this and it showed.

    Emily Solo:Wow. This is how NOT to fight for your life. Stiff and drab. She never had that “floating on air” quality that you crave. If you can’t guess it by now–I’m not an Emily fan.

    Jessica and Casey:

    Style: Contemporary

    Choreographer: Travis Wall

    Song: “Like Real People Do” by Hozier

    Favorite piece of the night. I loved loved loved it. I felt like Jessica wasn’t getting her fair shot in the past couple of weeks and the judges agreed eliminating both of her partners. But she always stood out to me. Even in the LA auditions. Her gorgeous face just grabs my attention more than any other girl and tonight was no different. She was so light she looked like she had wires on and was just flying in the air. The kiss was utterly electric. Her dress was perfect and light and yellow and breezy and her hair is the way I SHOULD have done my hair for my wedding. The entire piece reminded me of my favorite contemporary piece from any season: Ellenore and Ryan’s  “Your Ex Lover’s Dead” piece from Season 6 choreographed by none other than Travis Wall. (Even the yellow dress was the same!) Here is a link to see that one. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KTvZiLNhnrY

    Teddy Solo: Fantastic arm and leg work. His joints are made out of butter. Like Buttah!

    Serge and Carly

    Style: Quickstep

    Choreographer: Jean-Marc Genereux

    Song: “A Cool Cat In Town” by Tape Five feat. Brenda Boykin

    I really loved this piece. I thought it was full of fantastic technique. They were both super fast and super tight but I was even more impressed with their synchronicity. Super cute, super snappy and they never lost their energy even towards the end. I don’t understand how that is possible. I lose my breath while walking to the fridge. Amazing.

    Jessica Solo:Every time she has a solo she nails it. Ridiculously sexy and incredibly athletic. I could watch her legs extend all day long. And so could my husband. Fuck, wait. I hate Jessica. Jessica sucks. Oh, who am I kidding? I love her.

    Valerie and Ricky

    Style: Hip Hop

    Choreographer: Pharside and Phoenix

    Song: “Turn Down For What” by DJ Snake & Lil Jon

    Dope. Buck. I sound like an idiot. But honestly, this was really original and very well danced. What was amazing to me was that even though I think Ricky is the best dancer of them all it was Valerie the tapper who totally stood out. She got down and gritty and her character work was top notch. I mean, that leg wave in a side split was everything. Epic move. I bet you anything it makes the intro next time they recut it. Amazing.

    Girls Performance:Those dresses. Bridesmaids dresses anyone? I mean, I immediately started pinning. So strong and so beautiful to see all those women own the stage like that. Jessica stood out for me again but I was shocked again at how good Valerie was even though this isn’t her genre.

    Guys Performance:You guys. The way they fell off the stage like that. Like fish. Or waves. Or fish. I loved everything about this EXCEPT the camera guy’s decision to zoom in on Emilio’s epic leap. Why didn’t he or she zoom out so we could see the epicness of this epic leap. Ok no more epic. But honestly, it was lovely and I understood why Travis said this was one of his favorite pieces.

    Bottom Six:

    Carly
    Casey
    Emily
    Jessica
    Serge
    Teddy

    Saved

    Jessica and Casey

    Obviously the right move–my bet is Jessica goes further than Casey and might even go all the way…Yes I did say that. WHAT!

    Til Next Time!

    - See more at: http://toryshulman.com/top-ten-revealed-four-say-farewell#sthash.6ZbfMe6l.dpuf

     
     
  4. really?

    really?

     
     
  5. Photo bomb level bad ass

    Photo bomb level bad ass

     
     
  6. Well….

    Well….

     
     
  7. Marco is super specific
Marco i s

    Marco is super specific

    Marco i s

     
     
  8. Aaaand this will entertain you for the rest of your life…

    Aaaand this will entertain you for the rest of your life…

     
     
  9. The future looks bleak my friends…

    The future looks bleak my friends…

     
     Friens  bowling  games  app  ipad  kids  future 
     
  10. Old school

    Old school